It can be difficult to start a workplace romance, and it can be much harder to ask a coworker out on a date. You will constantly need to use discretion, avoid being very direct with the coworker, and still communicate your emotions. Office dating and romances are commonplace; they occur in all offices occasionally. The person should be careful not to cause any awkwardness at work, though. When one asks a coworker out on a date, they should be courteous and considerate. To prevent any complications in the future, the person should also make sure to verify the official policies on workplace romance as well as the employee associations.
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How To Ask A Coworker Out?
Determine Whether Your Coworkers Are Single
Before you date your coworker, you should make sure he/she is really single. This can save you a lot of time and embarrassment, and also keep your working relationship intact.
If you and your coworker are friends, you can look for clues about your partner on his or her social media.
Some social media platforms, such as Facebook, have a relationship status with a designated profile. You can also browse the recent photos of your coworkers to see if there are photos of him shaking hands or hugging others, which may indicate that he has a relationship with you.
If you have a trusted friend in the workplace, you can ask him or her about your interested coworkers. Let your friend be cautious. You can say this: “I want to ask ____u; do you know if he/she is single?”
If you don’t have these options, you can ask your coworkers themselves. Just be gentle and try to mention it in the conversation.
For example, you can say, “this weekend’s plan sounds interesting. Are you going with your boyfriend (girlfriend) or friends, or alone?” If your coworker is single, he or she may say, “no, I didn’t date anyone. I’ll go alone.”.
Assess The Situation
There are several factors that may affect the feasibility of a successful office relationship, the most important of which is the status of your female coworker as your subordinate (and vice versa). Peres said that because this relationship is most likely to lead to litigation, this is a rule that companies usually follow: supervisors should not date subordinates. The possibility of improper behavior is too great. Put aside the above factors and consider some other basic issues. If people knew you were dating, what would happen to the culture of your department? How embarrassing will it be to break up? Do you just want to have sex with her, or do you really like her?
Be Careful With What You Say
More specifically, ask her what an obvious date is. “Would you like a cup of coffee? Or” would you like to have lunch? ” It is more subtle and may be understood as college coffee or lunch, “said Susan Strauss, a doctor of education who advises businesses around the world on sexual harassment. “So, if a man is interested in you through flirting or innuendo, he can say, ‘I want to have dinner with you or watch a movie. Are you interested?'” similarly, the key is to ask questions directly and then respect each other’s answers.
Approach Your Coworkers In A Comfortable Place
Where and how to ask coworkers out are important factors to consider. Even if your coworker is interested in you, he or she may have doubts or insecurity about approaching you, so asking your coworker out in the wrong place, time or environment will cause tension and even hatred.
When your coworker is alone, approach him or her. If there are others around, your coworkers may feel uncomfortable or be forced to say “yes” or “no”.
Dress Up Carefully Before Dating Coworkers
Show your best on this day, dress appropriately, and be confident. Relax in the morning, do some activities that can relax your brain, or do something about “dating”. Wear a suit that is “pleasing and suitable for the workplace”. Dress up carefully and make a good first impression. Brush your teeth thoroughly and use mouthwash to get rid of bad breath.
Decide Where To Go Before Dating Coworkers
Approach coworkers in a comfortable place. A suitable place is important for both of you. If you let him / her date in the office or meeting room, he/she may not be happy. Even if your coworkers are interested in you, a suitable location will increase your chances of agreeing to a date. Approach a coworker when he/she is alone. Don’t ask him or her in front of coworkers or others. It will make him feel uncomfortable. Make sure your coworker pays enough attention to you and doesn’t ask for an appointment when he or she is in a hurry to deal with important tasks.
Choose A Safe And Comfortable Place
For example, don’t ask your coworkers out outside the bathroom or in your office (if you have an office), because these places may be frightening or even completely unsuitable for asking others out.
A good place to ask questions may be a neutral workspace, such as next to the copier in the office, or if you work in a restaurant, you are all behind the counter.
Make sure your coworker is not in a hurry to do important things, because when you ask him/her, you want him/her to have a moment of attention.
Think About The Questions You Want To Ask
Don’t try to improvise on the spot. If you approach your coworker, whether he or she is interested or hesitant, giving vague plans is likely to make people lose interest. Be casual, but know what you’re thinking before you ask your coworkers out.
If you are not sure whether your coworker is interested in you, inviting him/her to some informal activities is more likely to succeed than inviting him/her to a formal dinner or movie date.
Decide in advance what you want to do – for example, go out for a cup of coffee, or have a drink together after work (if you are all old enough to drink).
When you ask your coworker out, invite him/her to any casual activities you plan.
Don’t use “do you want to go out with me?” To start with such a vague remark, you can say, “I really want to continue chatting while drinking coffee or a cup of coffee, if you are free.”
Invite Your Coworkers To Participate In The Social Activities
If you are worried about being too proactive in front of your coworkers, you can freely invite him or her to join the work you have planned. Just make sure you invite your coworkers to some suitable activities, such as a concert or a street music festival.
The advantage of asking someone out in this way is that they often appear naturally in the conversation.
If you chat with your coworker, he or she may ask you at some time what plans you have for the weekend. This is a perfect opportunity to describe your plan and then invite your coworkers.
You can say, “I’m going to the concert this Saturday. I have an extra ticket. Are you interested in going with me?”?
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Be yourself
When you chat with your coworkers, it is important that you behave as usual. If you are nervous, your coworkers will notice. If you try to pretend to be a fake, your coworkers will surely find out and are likely to reject you. Just keep calm and respect your coworkers at all times.
Be yourself in front of your coworkers; Don’t feel nervous or shy. Don’t make your coworkers more uncomfortable because of nervousness. Keep calm and invite coworkers to date. However, proposing a date is the hardest part. You may feel nervous about the consequences or the response of your coworkers. Thinking that you will lose your coworkers may make you afraid. But remember, you have nothing to lose. The worst case may be that your coworker rejected your date proposal, and you smiled and made an excuse for yourself to leave.
Don’t Be Cute
Strauss thought of the first taboo behavior as “don’t go to the corner and make love”, which seems to be obvious. But really, there are no handheld computers, no frivolous jokes, no teasing or poking or other campus activities. Don’t let others be distracted, and don’t waste company time, whether face-to-face or online. “Can you have lunch together?” Coffee? Of course, “Strauss said. “But the company’s Internet, the company’s mobile phone, these should not be used as a personal communication mode. All exchanges need to be made public.” So is slack.
Don’t Help Each Other In Any Way
“People may be worried about preferential treatment,” Peres warned “What if you are in a meeting and your girlfriend supports you but does not support others?” What if your boyfriend and a vice president are good friends? ” You may remember a plot in the office in which PAM, the receptionist, transferred all the incoming sales calls to Jim, her boyfriend a salesman. Practice these scenarios in your own industry and find out (together during off hours) how to avoid them.
When your newest coworker is not as productive as other team members, what should you do?
What Should I Say When I Propose On A Date?
Think about and prepare the questions you want to ask your coworkers. Be casual, don’t beat around the Bush, and make coworkers feel confused and embarrassed. Vague words can be very annoying. Make a brief conversation in advance, keep it casual, and then propose or make an appointment. If you are not sure whether your coworker is interested in you, you can invite him or her to a movie or a formal dinner to see their reaction. Don’t ask vague questions, or like “do you want to go out with me?” You’d better find out where you want to go and spend time together. This will make things clear to both of you and will not be embarrassing.
If you are organizing some social activities, invite your coworkers over. If you think this is a little ahead of schedule, invite him or her to join the activities you plan to participate in. Choose a suitable activity or thing for your coworkers, such as going to a concert or a music festival. In this way, coworkers will give better answers, so the probability of being asked to go out together is naturally high.
In addition, if you chat with a coworker, he or she is likely to ask you what plans you have for the weekend. After that, you can disclose your plan and let coworkers join you.
When The Answer Is “no”
Don’t be angry if your coworker refuses the offer of a date. That’s it. Don’t repeat it. If your coworker is not interested in you, you keep asking him out. This will be considered a hostile working environment, and you will eventually have to face such consequences. If your coworker’s answer is “no”, be polite and respectful, and don’t interfere with your professional relationship because of entanglement. The best way is to find an excuse to leave.
Conclusion
It can be challenging to ask a coworker out on a date. Although you don’t want to be intrusive, you nevertheless want to express your interest in the person. Additionally, you don’t want to create a tense situation at work, yet you might be burning inside with the want to ask him or her out. The reality is that office dating happens frequently and is usually accepted. You shouldn’t worry as long as you approach your coworker with courtesy and respect and as long as you both maintain the professional nature of your working relationship. However, it’s always a good idea to inquire about any workplace dating policies with your employee handbook or a human resources person first so that
